Turning Point

I've been going through life the last few months in a fog. I still am not sure what triggered it (I think turning 40 really fucked with my head. It made me think about a lot of things I didn't want to think about, but honestly I think it started before that...) Whatever the trigger, I can tell I haven't been myself in a while and I think everyone close to me has noticed it too. I missed 'me' but I didn't know how to get me back so I stumbled through, every day, sleeping a lot and doing some pretty self destructive things and not knowing how to get out of it.

Today two things happened.

1) I downloaded the P!nk song "So What" last night and I listened to it today. A lot. How did it take me 3 years to hear this whole song and to realize the genius of it? I have no idea but I can't remember the last time I felt so strong and empowered and excited about life. It's official, P!nk is my new hero and total girl crush. She's such a fucking badass! I love her!!!!



2) Someone posted a quote on Facebook. Now, call me cheesy but I'm a huge fan of quotes - things I find moving or positive or inspirational - things I find truth in and can relate to. This was also sheer genius and hit me just when I needed to hear/read it.

Tupac, I have no idea if you really said that but I want to believe you did. RIP either way.

I listened to that song, and thought about that quote as I walked down the escalator stairs and made my way across the 7 Train platform in Grand Central tonight and I suddenly felt... free - for the first time in a long time. I felt myself smile. A genuine smile. I felt my walk change immediately. I felt myself get taller. I felt powerful. I felt strong. I felt my confident walk return for the first time in a while. It's been a long time since I felt that way. And it felt AWESOME!

It seriously happened in a matter of seconds like that, and I took it all in as it happened. At the moment I was aware of everything going on, my brain reminded me of another great quote I read recently (also on Facebook, sue me) that said something like "Mistakes can only be made once, because the second time they are not mistakes, they are choices."

Indeed.


Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, right? (another quote, I think) Yeah well I'm tired of making the same mistakes choices time and again only to hurt myself repeatedly. It's self destructive. It's not healthy. And it throws off everything else in my life.

I'm done. You hear me?! DONE. I'm leaving the pieces on the floor and moving the fuck on.

Thank you P!nk & Tupac. You have no idea how much you helped me today.

Birthday Week 2011

Sure, my birthday was in August, precisely 3 months ago. But I want to share some of my birthday highlights from this year! Here are some pics of what I did and what I ate. Enjoy!

08/19 Friday
I didn't do anything exciting this day, just had lots of errands to take care of in Manhattan. Naturally, I rode my bike.

I can't remember where I saw this - in Manhattan on Rivington, maybe? but this made me think of Amanda, since she does beautiful water color paintings of ice cream trucks

me, on my bike, who knows where

the beautiful Chrysler Building!

08/20 Saturday, my 40th Birthday
I started off the day with vegan pancakes, then grabbed the HK Cruiser so I could go enjoy the last Saturday of Summer Streets!

on my way there, I met a blog reader

I took the Brooklyn Bridge to Manhattan

riding towards Manhattan on the beautiful Brooklyn Bridge

weeeeee!

I like when I catch my bike shadow

As usual, I was hit on by men. All under the age of 25.

Houston & Lafayette

Girls Rule! Christina, Maureen, Me, Malaika & Jules

I rarely get to see myself from behind, so I like this shot

in front of one of my favorite places, Grand Central Terminal

After biking, Amanda & I went to one of my favorite vegan places Peace Food Cafe on Amsterdam, in Manhattan

cutting through Times Square on the way home

I love when I catch a flying bird in a shot!

One of my favorite shots of the whole year!

On the Willy B home

I went home and got ready for the evening's festivities, starting in Grand Central Terminal...

Me & Jaci, in my daily mirror

I photograph myself in front of this mirror whenever I get a chance

I was celebrating at the Campbell Apartment, a beautiful bar with tons of history tucked in Grand Central Terminal...

Dad & Me

with my WW leader, Melanie!

Me & my family

best neighbors ever - Adam & Jaci

This shot was Jaci's idea... and I love it!

I had to go b&w for a classy shot

I love this photo so much - pretty ladies in dresses! (Jules, Amanda, Me, Malaika)

Showing off my calf muscle

Robbie & Amanda clean up nice!

From there we headed back to Greenpoint, for the final festivities of the evening. We went to The Pencil Factory, a bar in my neighborhood.

Panda & Me

Robbie, looking very dapper

Me & Micah

with Ann (aka Mrs Phil Collins)

the ultra gorgeous Jarred even stopped by! *sigh*

and Lainykins made an appearance

I drank wayyyyy too much beer

aw I love these kids

08/21 Sunday
I wanted to go to the beach but the weather was iffy. Instead I went to Governor's Island with Amanda & Ann. (But I was kind of out of it, due to way too much drinking the night before...)

Riding on beautiful car-free Governor's Island

It was around this time, on the swings, when I realized this was a terrible idea. I felt dizzy & nauseous and did not last long. But it was fun for a little while!

Look at that! A great view of the Statue of Liberty from Governor's Island

We didn't stay at Governor's Island too long. Then we went to Bark in Park Slope for THE BEST onion rings on the planet. Seriously. On the planet!

silly girl!

I love onion rings!

08/22 Monday
The weather seemed beach appropriate - luckily Amanda & Robbie were available!

Inexplicably, we came upon a giant patch of snow on our way to the beach

Yes, real snow.

Hooray! We made it to Fort Tilden!

Riding to our favorite spot of beach

Woo hoo!

After beach time, on our way to Rockaway Taco & Babycakes for our feast

Vegan feast: Vegan tostadas, chips & guac, beer

On our way back home. Thumbs up!

08/23 Tuesday
On this day I was going to go for a horseback ride in Prospect Park. I wanted to do because right before my Grandfather died this summer, he had 2 wishes: 1) to see me 2) to go horseback riding again. Sadly he did not get either of those wishes before he passed away, so I was going to have the horseback ride for him, in his memory. But when I went to the stables they were kind of jerks to me. On top of that, I didn't feel right about it - I felt bad for the horses. So I apologized to my Grandpa and left there, without riding.

Then I went to a bagel place for a quick bite. While sitting at a counter stool facing the street and eating my bagel, I felt my seat shaking. I thought someone was pushing me because I felt it rock back and forth. I turned around with a "WHAT THE @%$#)!* IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" look on my face and realized no one was there. Then I looked up to see all the ceiling fixtures moving and realized the entire building was moving back and forth. I grabbed my bagel and went outside. That's when I saw that everyone up and down the block was either outside, looking around, or hanging out their windows, trying to figure out what was going on. It was the aftershocks of an earthquake that hit in Virginia.

After the unpleasant experience at the stables, super shitty bagel, and now this earthquake, I grabbed my bike and got the hell out of there.

I rode around for a while but ended up back in Park Slope. I wanted to go to another vegan place I hadn't been to yet - V-Spot. The food is fantastic but the service could be better. Amanda joined me for a while.

Vegan nachos & empanadas at V Spot

08/24 Wednesday
On this day, I convinced Amanda to go to Roosevelt Island with me. Yay!

in Queens, on our way to the bridge

self portrait, riding in Queens

Amanda leads the way - about to pass the 59th St Bridge

I love this bridge!

on the bridge to Roosevelt Island

I love this shot of Amanda on Roosevelt Island

Isn't she beautiful?

We rode around Roosevelt Island for a little while, then took the tram back to Manhattan to go visit my Dad at work.

I was surprised to learn we could take our bikes on the tram! How fun!

Back in Manhattan, biking around with Amanda

Great shot of Amanda biking in Times Square

I ran into a guy who lives in my hood & knows me from online - that's Kris!

on the Williamsburg Bridge, back to Brooklyn, with Amanda

08/25 Thursday
It was a rainy yucky day :(

That afternoon...

I had lunch at one of my favorite vegan spots, Food Swings in Williamsburg. This is the seitan gyro & fries - I highly recommend it!

I had a chance to wear my awesome Hello Kitty rain jacket for the first time!

Later that evening...

Amanda and Robbie took me out for a fancy birthday dinner at a *fantastic* old school Italian restaurant in the east village of Manhattan, John's. The food is so good - really good Italian food - and though it's not a vegan restaurant, they have an entire vegan menu! Besides, we wanted another chance to wear our fancy birthday outfits!

me on the L Train platform, turning heads

Panda pulls in on the L Train

I think Amanda got the Eggplant Parmigiana with Daiya

I got the Seitan Parmigiana with Daiya - OMG HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

Robbie got the Vegan Ravioli

We split an order of avocado bruschetta

Um, I think it's safe to say I enjoyed it.

Amanda has been dying to buy me this cake all year. It's a vegan (non dairy) ice cream cake from a Kosher place in Williamsburg. It came with the Hello Kitty deocrations. She added the unicorn.

I scooped out 3 of the HK decorations, which turned out to be rings, and rinsed them off so we could all wear them

We left there and walked over to Lakeside Lounge for a beer and some photo booth pics...

I love this guy's murals. Chico. He's all over the LES. this might be my favorite, on Ave B, because it has the Empire State Building and Chrysler Building.

Yay! Photobooth pics are fun!

08/26 Friday
I had plans to meet up with the lovely Ashley, an online vegan pal from Toronto. I met her in Manhattan and we took the L Train to Brooklyn to go to Pine Box Rock Shop (a vegan bar) but they weren't open yet. So we got back on the L Train and I took her to another vegan favorite place, Champs, a vegan bakery/cafe in Williamsburg.

I had the French Toast!

Ashley had a great looking salad

Ashley outside of Champs, on Ainslie

Then I spent some time with Amanda again. More biking. Yay!

She took me past Party Glitters, on Broadway in Brooklyn. She's obsessed with this store (and party stores in general) The cool thing is that one of the Project Runway challenges (party store challenge, duh) was filmed here! This is where they got their supplies!

On the Willy B

On Kent Ave, with Amanda

And look at this incredible sunset!

08/27 Saturday
Stupid Hurricane Irene was on its way so the weather was windy/wet and pretty crappy. I didn't do much this day. Just some bike riding around the neighborhood.

one of my favorite shirts

I am sure Jim Joe is behind these recent "Kissing You" pieces. I like them a lot.

I found this old VW parked under the BQE and stopped dead in my tracks. This was the EXACT car I grew up in - same model, same color. My parents bought this car when I was 5 and we had it until I was 14. I love this car. It brought back so many memories. It was exactly as I remembered.

Plenty of stores were boarded up in preparation for the storm, but still open for business

They actually shut down the subways in anticipation of the storm!

That afternoon, Amanda came over so we could finish off my birthday cake and have a Jersey Shore marathon. Seriously. We love Jersey Shore!

What was left of the cake.

After Amanda left, I was antsy to do something but because of the weather my options were severely slim. Jaci & Adam went to one of my favorite bars in the hood, Matchless. So I joined them for a couple of beers.

Jaci rocking the foosball

Riding home, past more boarded up businesses. It was very windy and rainy!

08/28 Sunday
I woke up and wondered if the Hurricane had passed because nothing woke me up during the night. Turns out it had. And our neighborhood seemed unaffected. So I got in touch with Amanda, grabbed my bike, and met her at Bad Burger in Williamsburg for my final vegan breakfast of my vacation. (Note: they are vegan friendly, but it's a burger place, so you're gonna smell cooking flesh the whole time you're there. Oh and the service is pretty terrible. I won't go back there again...)

My vegan waffle, tofu scramble & home fries

The same place I passed the night before. They hadn't removed their plywood yet.

It was an anticlimactic end to my birthday week off. But lucky for me, the storm cancelled all of Metro North so I had to work from home on Monday. Here's a few photos from that day too...

8/29 Monday
I went out to the store for lunch and while walking down Manhattan Ave, I noticed that Jam's Stationary no longer had the "Moustache Man" lottery guy in their window. When I went inside to inquire what happened to him, I saw him sitting on the floor. I asked if they were getting rid of it, and if so, could I have it? To my surprise and delight, they were like "sure, take it". I tucked him under my arm and took him home, ecstatic. Now I have a piece of the Moustache Man with me, in my apartment. Happy Birthday to me!!! (if you don't know the significance of the Moustache Man, you can read about him, and my love of him, on my commuting blog)

My very own Moustache Man!

Later that evening, more biking...

on the Willy B

gorgeous sunset behind the Williamsburg Bridge

Look at this amazing sunset the day after the Hurricane (view from Grand Ferry Park in Williamsburg)

Tuesday, August 30th
My Weight Watchers leader gave me an amazing birthday gift. Check out this t-shirt!

One of the best gifts ever - a shirt from my Weight Watchers leader, Melanie

front

and back

And I had another pretty awesome birthday gift come in the mail... I always joke that I can see me and my friend Trixie being 80, in our housecoats & curlers, living together and gossiping & complaining about the 'young kids'. She sent me a package: a housecoat, tea, a mug, a vegan chocolate bar and an incredibly perfect card. I adore that woman. This is the awesome housedress and mug-

housedress from Trixie

So that's pretty much my 40th Birthday week off in a nutshell. There was biking, vegan food, beer, Islands (Gov & Roosevelt, Manhattan), friends, the beach, an earthquake and a hurricane. It was probably the strangest birthday week I've had since I've been in Brooklyn, but it was still a good one. And like it or not, I am now 40.

(Here is a link to my entire set of pics from that week)