I was at the Agnostic Front show at CB's in November and went outside for air. While standing there, this guy walks up to me and says 'Aren't you...' and I recognized him immediately- here was my bully. The guy that made every day of Junior High (which sucked enough already) unbearably painful for me. The asshole that reminded me at every opportunity how fat I was (like I didn't know). It was surreal. Here I was staring at him, a face I never thought I'd see again. A person I haven't thought about in years. And I didn't know what to do other than tell him "I f^&%$#ing hated you!" (which was true) But his reaction was shocking: "why, I wasn't that bad, was I?"
I couldn't believe his daily insults and putting me down was like nothing to him but I lived with that memory for 20 years now. I wanted to deck him, my heart was pounding. I didn't know what to do. Here was my chance to do something and I didn't even know what to do. I never rehearsed this chance meeting in my head and it just arrived out of nowhere.
He even told me I 'look good' which I found ironic, since I weigh exactly what I weighed at 13 years old when he harassed me daily.
In some ways I felt like there was closure but I still wanted to make him hurt. I just didn't know how to do it. I guess I should prepare for if I run into him again...
1 comments:
Have you ever run into him since then? Have you planned what you'd do if you ever see him again?
When I went to my 10-year HS reunion, I learned that I was a bully to a guy who I thought was super rude to me throughout HS. He said he was painfully shy in HS & I was so mean to him. I just thought he was one of the snobby preppie kids at my school & so I treated him the same way I treated the rest of them--with contempt & sarcasm.
Who knew I'd have to apologize to him 10 years later?
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