My Love Affair with Alec Baldwin may have come to an end

Some of you may not be aware of this, but I have a huge celebrity crush on Alec Baldwin. But interestingly enough, this only happened recently. That is to say - I had no desire for the young, fit Alec Baldwin back in the day. It wasn't until he appeared on 30 Rock - older, heavier and in suits - that I developed a desperate yearning for him.

I have photos of him downloaded on my computer, he appears prominently on my myspace profile page, his image even hangs from my cubicle at work... And of course I enjoy running across this subway poster -

So, when I found out he had a book coming out and was going to do a signing- Obviously I had to be there!

Last night I headed over to the Barnes & Noble in Lincoln Center. Out front, women were protesting - Something about children and neglect or abuse - no doubt in reference to his relationship with his daughter. Whatever. I wasn't paying them any mind. What did they know? I'm sure Alec is a great Dad and gets a bum wrap.

I marched right in, purchased my book and got on a very long line. Eventually, we were led in the event room. I was one of the last to be let in, too! Others were too late and shut out of the reading room, unable to witness the greatness within.

I took my seat, texted my friends, put in my iPod and worked on some blogs (I'm a busy gal, I don't have an hour to throw away! I brought my laptop) while I waited for my super sexy boyfriend to appear.

Finally, he did:



He spoke for a while about divorce and the legal system. I just kept taking pictures:





Eventually it was time to line up for the signing itself. We had been warned that we could not take photos *with* Alec, as that would slow down the process (there were hundreds of people there, allowing only about 30 seconds per person, if that much).

I took photos as I got closer-





After nearly an hour, I was next!



So many things raced through my head: Should I tell Alec how drop dead gorgeous he is? How he's the handsomest man on earth? How I fantasize about him calling ME a rude little pig in a hotel room as he tosses me around and has his way with me? Would Alec compliment my amazing hair or ask about my tattoos? Would he be swept off his feet by my feminine charms and beauty - unable to resist his primal urges, with no choice but to take me right there?!?!

I handed him my book with a sticky note that said "Sherly" (which I crossed out, since it was spelled wrong by the lady with the sticky notes). Instead I wrote "Bitch Cakes" and below that, "Sheryl"

Alec looked at the note, then gazed into my eyes with those gorgeous blue eyes of his and spoke to me. It was at that moment I knew we would never be together. Because at that moment, he joined the ranks of Starbucks, Tabasco and Apple when he said:

"Bitch Cakes? I'm not writing that." and he wrote my real name instead.



Immediately my lust bubble had been burst and I just managed to whimper "Starbucks wouldn't write it on a card for me either..." But deep down, I was crushed. For a brief moment I felt a little better when he told me "If we were alone, I would call you that, but I'm not writing it."

I left the line and took one last photo-



So what does that mean- "If we were alone". Is there a chance of us being alone together? Maybe there IS hope for us yet? Will we be alone- in his hotel- when he says "Bitch Cakes, you're a rude little pig!" and then tosses me around like a rag doll and well... you get the idea.

However, I had some very disturbing revelations during the reading:

1. At moments, he reminded me of MY DAD (his wide neck, his skin color, his wide shoulders and body)
2. I'm turned on by his verbal tirade against his daughter. And my Dad was verbally abusive. So WTF DOES THAT MEAN?! Do I want to subconsciously F my Dad?!

Wash that little image out of your heads. I've been trying all day.

Now I have to give this celebrity crush some serious thought. But I think it may be over for me and Alec!