- When I was about 7, and wanted a raise in my allowance, my Dad told me he had to refer to "The Contract".
- When I was around 9, I asked my Dad how old he was. He told me "29". This went on for a few years, where he kept telling me he was "29". Finally I asked him why his age didn't change. He told me that according to "The Contract", the Dad gets to pick an age where he wants to stay until his kids catch up to him. (Amusingly enough, he recently admitted to me that he has capped my age at 30 for anyone that asks. And I'll be 37 this month! So I guess "The Contract" somehow prevents me from aging too.)
- When I was about 11 and wanted to start wearing make up, my Dad told me he had to refer to "The Contract".
- When I was 12 and wanted to date, he again had to refer to "The Contract"
I'm bringing all of this up because earlier this week, he reminded me it was my Mom's birthday, and he asked me if I called her. I said no, because she doesn't call me on my birthday. He quickly told me that according to "The Contract", it clearly states that I must call HIM on HIS birthday.
He must have still been thinking about this, because today, he called me to let me know about a clause he found in "The Contract" that stated if I did not comply with the birthday phone call, he could return me to the hospital in the Bronx where I was born!
I told him good luck with that.
And according to "The Contract", I can still be sent to my room for being out of line. So it's a good thing he's never been online, because if he read this blog, I am sure it's in direct violation of "The Contract"
(Dad and me, June 2007-)