Email from Dad, Part 5, Everything Else

These are the older email exchanges between me and my Dad, to bring you up to speed. I highlighted my favorite parts...


Sept 10th - my first email to my Dad:

Just wondering if you are wearing your Bermuda shorts. 

Explanation: Because before getting a computer and going online, he said that he would have to wear his bermuda shorts when he "surfs the web"...

Sept 24, from Dad:

good luck wishing u the best i think maria keeps moving the letters on my keyboard having trouble finding letters love u my celebrity daughter waiting to appear on your show life with sheryl                        

1) Maria = his wife. 
2) Moving the letters on the keyboard = he can't remember where they are. 
3) My Dad has been telling me for years that I should have a reality show. In his mind, it's called "Life with Sheryl" and yes, he has a role as himself...               

Summer 2003 - Maria, Dad & Me (I was about 190-195 pounds here)

  

Sept 25, from Me:

I think you're having problems because your fingers are too big. You should see if they have a special keyboard for that!

Seriously - the man has giant sausage fingers! I don't have any idea how he uses a cell phone.

Sept 30 from Me:

See if you can reply to this email! I dare you! If you want an extra challenge, use some capitalization and/or punctuation!

Sept 30 from Dad:

FROM YOUR FATHER!!! Of course I can. I am back googleing away.Love DAD.......

Wow he used captitalization & punctuation for the first time! I am so proud!

Oct 10 From Dad:

Hi Sheryl thanks for stopping by my job.You look great! Keep up the good work.I would like to see you to talk to you longer.Your eyes were red,tired?irratation?Hopefully nothing serious.Please let me know.Remember I am the FATHER I have the contract!I rule with an iron fist!That is all for now Bill Gates is calling,again.      LOVE,  DAD

1) "Rule with an iron fist" - he used this line on me & my brother when we were young and he was left in charge to watch us. Then he would take us to Nathan's to play video games or make us ice cream sundaes.
2) You can read more about "The Contract" here...

3) This is the first time I learned that he was in such high demand from Mr Bill Gates (and the use of "again" makes it even funnier!)

(me, visiting Dad at work) 

Oct 11 from Sheryl Yvette:

Thank you, yes I do look pretty fantastic!!

My eyes were red from allergies - I was biking without my sunglasses and dust and stuff gets in them and makes them water while I'm riding. Stupid allergies!

Yeah, yeah, contract, schmontract...

Better not keep Bill Gates waiting!

Oct 22 from Dad:

Hi Sheryl,   Just googling to say hello hope u r well. Hope u noticed short spelling of words  Bill was impressed with my googling expertise.I realize u r very busy at work but leave some time for U.Bike, exercise,clean, just do something u like.Thinking of you. Love Dad.

Oct 25 from Sheryl:

Hi Dad, work has been awful and I worked most of the weekend. Yesterday I had a bike tour - 72 miles in the bronx. I passed by the old house on Matilda and even went through your new hood in Riverdale! Other than that, all I have done is work and sleep. This is the first chance I even had to check this email. Hope you're well.

Oct 26 from Dad:

Hi Sheryl, Just me googling to let u know I received your google.Sorry to hear about your tough work schedule. Think about the fun u had on the weekend and plan something for u this weekend.Keyboard is on fire due to speed,keys have been moved again.I can still get the job done!Hope u r well and not neglecting yourself.         Love, Dad

Oct 27 from Me:

Hi Dad, I'm going to try to have fun this weekend- it's Halloween. Probably will go out with my friend Jaci at night but Sunday morning I have a 5 mile run in Central Park. 5 miles! I never ran that much in one day! Wish me luck! I do need to take better care of myself though, I tend to not do that when I get stressed out :(

Oct 27 from Dad:

Hi Sheryl,received your google.Good luck with your run on Sunday.When u start to feel tired,just remember hundreds of people only wish they had the strenth,determination,and ability to do what u r doing.Do not neglect yourself,when u feel stress coming think happy thoughts, think of whats best for u.You count.Nobody is going to take better care of u than you.Best of luck on Sunday.         Love, Dad

Oct 28 from Dad: (I think this is my favorite email to date!)

Hi Sheryl,received your google.Knowing u I feel u will reach your goal.Nobody can take better care of u than u! I now consider myself the urban traveler. I have been offered a job helping to re-design the Public Transportation System due to the savvy intelligence I have displayed in using the current system.When one wants solitude, the subway is the answer,when we seek light or open brightness the bus is there.This will take alot of time and energy,but duty calls! I will have to stall Bill on our corrent projects. Stay well. When I become rich and famous I will remember U and Tommy.      Love,  Dad

The MTA seriously needs to adopt that quote. It's brilliant - "When one wants solitude, the subway is the answer,when we seek light or open brightness the bus is there."

Oct 29 from Me:

Wow, I have to tell you. I really enjoy your emails!!!!! Thanks Dad, that made my morning.

I'm sure you have civic duty to attend to this Tuesday, being it's Election Day and all. I, for one, refuse to vote with those awful new machines. How dare they remove those gorgeous WWII army green ones!!!!

Did you see the link I sent you to the Riverdale Press? It had an article about the bike tour with a photo of me and the caption mentioned my dad, Tom, lives in Riverdale! I hope you saw it!

Oct 29 from Dad:

Hi,its me googling away with speed beyond imagination.Please let me know the date of the paper. I do not read the paper.If necessary I will go to the library and secure a copy. On Sunday wear running shoes no HEELS! I am going in training for the city run on Nov.7.Between my new job with the MTA,Billy Gates,the city run,Election Day inspector, and my old job,its good I can speed google.Wishing u the best on Sunday(plenty of water, running shoes, stretching,inhale thru the nose exhale thru the mouth,tissues for a clear nose).I will be cheering for you. Love, Dad

"in training for the city run on Nov 7" - that would be the NYC Marathon! This was, of course, a total lie. I'm not sure he has ever run a mile...

Nov 1 from Dad:

Hello,this is Mr.Google,how are u?I hope the run on Sunday went well.We saw your picture via the link in the Riverdale Press.You looked great even Hello Kitty bike looked good.So where is the new bike?What other new events are coming up?Is everything getting settled at work?Any news on a new fashion show?I am speeding thru this keyboard faster than Superman.So far 15minutes. Not bad?One day,time permitting,I will teach u and others my speed secrets.        Love,Dad         P. S.   Did u remember the reminders I sent you?   Be well, I will be googling.

Nov 4 from Me:

Hi Dad. I mean "Mr Google". I'm ok. The run did not go so well, my ankle was bothering me. I had to walk most of it. But at least I did it.

I'm glad you finally saw the link of me on my bike in Riverdale. Did you see the caption? I mentioned you, so they printed it.

The new bike is sitting in my apartment gathering dust. I glare at it everyday.

No new events scheduled right now. No more bike tours until spring :( and no other running events that I'm registered for yet, but I might do one in Prospect Park in December. Also no new fashion shows.

 I'm looking forward to your "speed secrets" especially considering I knocked this email out in under 2 minutes.

Where are you going this weekend? I know you mentioned going away for your birthday. I hope you have your itinerary!
Nov 7 from Dad:

Hi Sheryl,received your google. Speeding along the keys am I.We are going to Punta Cana Monday morning and coming back Saturday night.Yes I read your caption under your picture, and I now have news reporters knocking on my door to ask if the Tom in your caption is me.Thank you for the popularity.12 minutes so far.I hope u r taking care of yourself.Talk to u soon,stay well.       Love, Dad

I think that gets you caught up on our email exchanges to date. Perhaps one day my Dad will reveal some of these "Speed Secrets" he keeps alluding to - you know, the ones that help him knock out a 4 sentence email in a lightning quick and impressive 15 minutes! (No wonder Billy keeps him on the payroll!)

Also, in case you missed my Tweet today, my Dad told me that thanks to his work on the "Bill Project", googling is now an everyday occurrence! That's right, people are now GOOGLING - EVERY DAY!! and he is sure it is because of his tireless work with Bill. He is truly a hero in the world of "googling". And you may thank him at your earliest convenience.